... I LEARNED IN MY SPAM BOX.
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I am an average American.
The average credit score of an average American is 608.
I have a mortgage and I gamble—poorly—but want to do better.
I want to lose tons of weight and am holding between 25 and 30 pounds of fat in my intestines.
I totally dig Christian singles and my perfect match is waiting for me somewhere ... in my hometown.
I could find her this week.
I want to start a home business and start making REAL money.
Easy work and great pay always go together and earning potential, unlike money, is unlimited.
The best things in life—meaning CrackBerrys and MacBook Airs—are totally free.
For most things in life, only my confirmation is needed.
I want to learn magic and/or hypnosis to attract health, love, money, and to get sweet revenge (the good kind).
Amazing secrets are hidden by nothing more than a friggin mouse click.
I have two awesomely hot friends, Maureen and Angie, who talk about me daily.
Approval is totally guaranteed.
e mërkurë, 24 shtator 2008
e martë, 23 shtator 2008
Black Mountain
one of my absolute fave bands right now. One part Neil Young to one part Nazareth with a tablespoon of Saint Vitus. Mix together and chug:
e shtunë, 20 shtator 2008
e premte, 19 shtator 2008
e enjte, 18 shtator 2008
oh Lindsay
I have this strange (morbid?) fascination with that burnt out period of music in the 80's where the previous decade's Arena Rock had long eroded into horrible LA recording sessions with grand budgets from their previous record sales, fat lines on the mixing board and whole "debauched" albums of utter crap (save for maybe one single that charts because well frankly, everybody else was also coked outta their mind). Everyone was a victim (Lou, Mick, Neil, hell even Don fuckin' Henley) and I can't really think of anyone that truly escaped (mike .. don't say Al Stewart)
Yeah if you lived through the 80's as one of these bands you're doing some kinda comeback tour and probably laughing your ass off at the bile you puked up in the 80's. Here is one of those songs which I just fucking adore and will probably cover soon in a live situation...
Yeah if you lived through the 80's as one of these bands you're doing some kinda comeback tour and probably laughing your ass off at the bile you puked up in the 80's. Here is one of those songs which I just fucking adore and will probably cover soon in a live situation...
story time
An excerpt from "My Awesome Moments in Summer History: Chapter 37 : Embarrassment"
Through much of my hormonal youth, the place to "hang out" was good times roller skating. We are talking between the years of '83 to like '87. (post wet dreams -- pre drivers license)
At good times the DJ would always play the freshest music and there were posters everywhere to feast your eyes on. While they weren't exactly playing thrash metal, it was all popular music that you could skate to and then buy a big ass slice of pizza or some god awful fried something. They also had a dance floor.
I present to you subject A: Marion Diaz (name has not been changed)
She was 14 and I was 15. We both had the hots for each other and decided to meet there (it was 1/2 way between our 2 towns. we met earlier that summer at the Bedford Pool. She looked awesome in a bikini with a mondo 14 year out set of fun cushions.
Well we skated for a while, talked about why ZZ Top did or did not suck, and then took the skates off so we could go to the dance room. (I will just say that at that point in my career ... dancing = chance at making out in the back parking lot) So we are doing of the dancing and then a slow number comes on and she turns around so that we can dance while I hug her. We do this. It's nice. We dance slowly. Hip are swaying ever so slowly. The song ends and she walks away. I assume she wants to skate. I go looking for her and she is nowhere to be found. Then I see her putting her shoes on and checking her skates at the counter. She doesn't want to talk to me or even look at me. I am utterly and completely confused. I find her friend who is also skating there and I'm like"WTF Marion's friend. did I say something?????" Her friend says that apparently I tried to "feel her up" on the dance floor. I can assure you to this day that I was not brave, bold, or stupid enough to attempt such a feat. It just wasn't true and I was super bummed that she thought I would do that. The night ends and I go home high on sugary soda and dejected.
----
fast forward 6 months from now to the summer of next year.
I decide to go to the Bedford Pool with my family. I am swimming with my brother and look who walks up to me. Can you guess? Oh I bet you can. As I bob gently in the water I am ambushed with an barrage of swears and accusations in front of the whole pool (this is a LARGE public pool) Keep in mind that I never even kissed this little vixen.
I realize that she is not alone and the her 3 older and larger brothers all with 6-packs (not beer) brothers are sitting on the picnic table behind her laughing there asses off. Marion then challenges me to a fight. I am scrawny and confused. My little brother is keeping his distance. I mutter something unrecognizable and get out of the pool. I leave the pool. I hit the changing room and leave the place and head over to the outside eating area far away from the pool. As I walk toward my parents who are in sight, I am shoved from behind buy the lovely no longer desirable Marion Diaz. She proceeds to verbally and physically assault me all the way to my parents table. I am unable to calm her wrath. We get there and I just sit down on the verge of completely breaking down. My Dad listens to her story of my big attempts at stealing second base at Good Times. Eventually my dad interrupts her and says something to the effect of "thanks for your time" or "your testimony is dully noted". She eventually walks away.
We all kind of look at each other. My brother returns to the family unit. We drive back to Merrimack in silence with Casey Kasem introducing the next John Cougar Mellancamp song.
• Thanks "royal pine" for drawing this tale out of me.
Through much of my hormonal youth, the place to "hang out" was good times roller skating. We are talking between the years of '83 to like '87. (post wet dreams -- pre drivers license)
At good times the DJ would always play the freshest music and there were posters everywhere to feast your eyes on. While they weren't exactly playing thrash metal, it was all popular music that you could skate to and then buy a big ass slice of pizza or some god awful fried something. They also had a dance floor.
I present to you subject A: Marion Diaz (name has not been changed)
She was 14 and I was 15. We both had the hots for each other and decided to meet there (it was 1/2 way between our 2 towns. we met earlier that summer at the Bedford Pool. She looked awesome in a bikini with a mondo 14 year out set of fun cushions.
Well we skated for a while, talked about why ZZ Top did or did not suck, and then took the skates off so we could go to the dance room. (I will just say that at that point in my career ... dancing = chance at making out in the back parking lot) So we are doing of the dancing and then a slow number comes on and she turns around so that we can dance while I hug her. We do this. It's nice. We dance slowly. Hip are swaying ever so slowly. The song ends and she walks away. I assume she wants to skate. I go looking for her and she is nowhere to be found. Then I see her putting her shoes on and checking her skates at the counter. She doesn't want to talk to me or even look at me. I am utterly and completely confused. I find her friend who is also skating there and I'm like"WTF Marion's friend. did I say something?????" Her friend says that apparently I tried to "feel her up" on the dance floor. I can assure you to this day that I was not brave, bold, or stupid enough to attempt such a feat. It just wasn't true and I was super bummed that she thought I would do that. The night ends and I go home high on sugary soda and dejected.----
fast forward 6 months from now to the summer of next year.
I decide to go to the Bedford Pool with my family. I am swimming with my brother and look who walks up to me. Can you guess? Oh I bet you can. As I bob gently in the water I am ambushed with an barrage of swears and accusations in front of the whole pool (this is a LARGE public pool) Keep in mind that I never even kissed this little vixen.
I realize that she is not alone and the her 3 older and larger brothers all with 6-packs (not beer) brothers are sitting on the picnic table behind her laughing there asses off. Marion then challenges me to a fight. I am scrawny and confused. My little brother is keeping his distance. I mutter something unrecognizable and get out of the pool. I leave the pool. I hit the changing room and leave the place and head over to the outside eating area far away from the pool. As I walk toward my parents who are in sight, I am shoved from behind buy the lovely no longer desirable Marion Diaz. She proceeds to verbally and physically assault me all the way to my parents table. I am unable to calm her wrath. We get there and I just sit down on the verge of completely breaking down. My Dad listens to her story of my big attempts at stealing second base at Good Times. Eventually my dad interrupts her and says something to the effect of "thanks for your time" or "your testimony is dully noted". She eventually walks away.
We all kind of look at each other. My brother returns to the family unit. We drive back to Merrimack in silence with Casey Kasem introducing the next John Cougar Mellancamp song.
• Thanks "royal pine" for drawing this tale out of me.
e mërkurë, 17 shtator 2008
e martë, 16 shtator 2008
e hënë, 15 shtator 2008
take a picture ... it'll last longer
Some photos from photographer Lisa Kahane documenting the Bronx in the 70's/80's from her book "do not give way to evil". I know the world is full of photojournalists, but some people really have a knack for really capturing the mayhem.
e premte, 12 shtator 2008
CHANGES TO THE HOTEL CALIFORNIA, MADE IN RESPONSE TO MR. HENLEY'S RECENT COMPLAINT
BY JOHN MOE
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Encourage nightman to be less cryptic when talking to guests
Improve courtyard air conditioning to reduce occurrences of sweet summer sweat
Update room décor, including removal of ceiling mirrors
Restock spirit supplies, encourage Captain to offer guests other options
Acquire steelier knives and/or less resolute beast
Emphasize "heaven" image over less desirable "hell" alternative
Install electric-light system in hallway (long overdue), reassign employee who has been showing guests to room by candlelight
Upgrade music selection to accommodate both guests who dance to remember and those who do so to forget
Clearly mark passage back to places guests have been before
Emphasize core strengths: lovely place, plenty of room, consistent location
Reduce power on colitis-oil highway pumps; smell may be overly aggressive
Provide "house alibis" to guests who neglect to bring their own
Streamline checkout procedures to accommodate guests' desire to actually leave
- - - -
Encourage nightman to be less cryptic when talking to guests
Improve courtyard air conditioning to reduce occurrences of sweet summer sweat
Update room décor, including removal of ceiling mirrors
Restock spirit supplies, encourage Captain to offer guests other options
Acquire steelier knives and/or less resolute beast
Emphasize "heaven" image over less desirable "hell" alternative
Install electric-light system in hallway (long overdue), reassign employee who has been showing guests to room by candlelight
Upgrade music selection to accommodate both guests who dance to remember and those who do so to forget
Clearly mark passage back to places guests have been before
Emphasize core strengths: lovely place, plenty of room, consistent location
Reduce power on colitis-oil highway pumps; smell may be overly aggressive
Provide "house alibis" to guests who neglect to bring their own
Streamline checkout procedures to accommodate guests' desire to actually leave
e diel, 7 shtator 2008
Abonohu te:
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