e premte, 12 shtator 2008

CHANGES TO THE HOTEL CALIFORNIA, MADE IN RESPONSE TO MR. HENLEY'S RECENT COMPLAINT

BY JOHN MOE

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Encourage nightman to be less cryptic when talking to guests

Improve courtyard air conditioning to reduce occurrences of sweet summer sweat

Update room décor, including removal of ceiling mirrors

Restock spirit supplies, encourage Captain to offer guests other options

Acquire steelier knives and/or less resolute beast

Emphasize "heaven" image over less desirable "hell" alternative

Install electric-light system in hallway (long overdue), reassign employee who has been showing guests to room by candlelight

Upgrade music selection to accommodate both guests who dance to remember and those who do so to forget

Clearly mark passage back to places guests have been before

Emphasize core strengths: lovely place, plenty of room, consistent location

Reduce power on colitis-oil highway pumps; smell may be overly aggressive

Provide "house alibis" to guests who neglect to bring their own

Streamline checkout procedures to accommodate guests' desire to actually leave

3 komente:

RK tha...

At least there's plenty of room at the Hotel California, and it is a lovely place, after all.

mc homemade tha...

Need: Stop waking guest up in the middle of the night to just to hear us say our Hotel name, yet once again.

Might think about relocation as well. The dark desert highway was going to be the next Vegas. Bust.

RWT tha...

to do: Speak to mission about limiting bell usage to Sunday morning and holidays.