story time

An excerpt from "My Awesome Moments in Summer History: Chapter 37 : Embarrassment"


Through much of my hormonal youth, the place to "hang out" was good times roller skating. We are talking between the years of '83 to like '87. (post wet dreams -- pre drivers license)

At good times the DJ would always play the freshest music and there were posters everywhere to feast your eyes on. While they weren't exactly playing thrash metal, it was all popular music that you could skate to and then buy a big ass slice of pizza or some god awful fried something. They also had a dance floor.

I present to you subject A: Marion Diaz (name has not been changed)

She was 14 and I was 15. We both had the hots for each other and decided to meet there (it was 1/2 way between our 2 towns. we met earlier that summer at the Bedford Pool. She looked awesome in a bikini with a mondo 14 year out set of fun cushions.

Well we skated for a while, talked about why ZZ Top did or did not suck, and then took the skates off so we could go to the dance room. (I will just say that at that point in my career ... dancing = chance at making out in the back parking lot) So we are doing of the dancing and then a slow number comes on and she turns around so that we can dance while I hug her. We do this. It's nice. We dance slowly. Hip are swaying ever so slowly. The song ends and she walks away. I assume she wants to skate. I go looking for her and she is nowhere to be found. Then I see her putting her shoes on and checking her skates at the counter. She doesn't want to talk to me or even look at me. I am utterly and completely confused. I find her friend who is also skating there and I'm like"WTF Marion's friend. did I say something?????" Her friend says that apparently I tried to "feel her up" on the dance floor. I can assure you to this day that I was not brave, bold, or stupid enough to attempt such a feat. It just wasn't true and I was super bummed that she thought I would do that. The night ends and I go home high on sugary soda and dejected.

----

fast forward 6 months from now to the summer of next year.
I decide to go to the Bedford Pool with my family. I am swimming with my brother and look who walks up to me. Can you guess? Oh I bet you can. As I bob gently in the water I am ambushed with an barrage of swears and accusations in front of the whole pool (this is a LARGE public pool) Keep in mind that I never even kissed this little vixen.

I realize that she is not alone and the her 3 older and larger brothers all with 6-packs (not beer) brothers are sitting on the picnic table behind her laughing there asses off. Marion then challenges me to a fight. I am scrawny and confused. My little brother is keeping his distance. I mutter something unrecognizable and get out of the pool. I leave the pool. I hit the changing room and leave the place and head over to the outside eating area far away from the pool. As I walk toward my parents who are in sight, I am shoved from behind buy the lovely no longer desirable Marion Diaz. She proceeds to verbally and physically assault me all the way to my parents table. I am unable to calm her wrath. We get there and I just sit down on the verge of completely breaking down. My Dad listens to her story of my big attempts at stealing second base at Good Times. Eventually my dad interrupts her and says something to the effect of "thanks for your time" or "your testimony is dully noted". She eventually walks away.
We all kind of look at each other. My brother returns to the family unit. We drive back to Merrimack in silence with Casey Kasem introducing the next John Cougar Mellancamp song.

• Thanks "royal pine" for drawing this tale out of me.